Why do stakeholders nod along in meetings, say “yes, sounds good”, and then do absolutely nothing?
That question sits at the heart of one of the biggest challenges in modern leadership. For HR leaders especially, the issue is not usually a lack of data, logic, or good intentions. It is the harder problem of impact and influence. How do people professionals move ideas forward in an environment shaped by pressure, competing agendas, AI, organisational change, and a constant demand to do more with less?
In this HR Engage Podcast conversation, host Jonathan Mamaril sits down with professional speaker and business strategist AJ Kulatunga to unpack exactly that. The result is a practical and thought-provoking discussion on trust, storytelling, leadership capability, and why the best influence happens long before a key decision is ever made.
AJ Kulatunga’s path to speaking about leadership, strategy and HR
AJ’s career has not followed a neat, linear path. Raised in Darwin by Sri Lankan parents, he describes himself as someone shaped by contradiction in the best possible way: Australian-born, Sri Lankan heritage, grounded in technology and business, but working in the world of speaking, strategy, creativity and leadership.
That mix became his superpower.
After university, AJ entered consulting, did well, then ran into the kind of bad boss who can derail a career. So he left and built his own consulting firm, growing it to 13 staff and winning awards along the way. His early talks focused on entrepreneurship and unconventional career paths, especially for young people in Darwin looking for something bigger.
Then came the turning point. After opening a major Northern Territory business event, another speaker asked who represented him. AJ’s answer was simple: represented by who? He had no idea that professional speaking was its own business.
That launched a decade-long career in which he developed not just as a speaker, but as a strategist. In his words, professional speaking requires mastery of three things:
- Content
- The business of speaking
- The craft of speaking
And sitting behind all of that is audience psychology.
His connection to HR came through one of those wonderfully non-linear career moments. After a difficult public event where he was heckled aggressively for an hour, an HR professional stayed behind to check he was okay. They kept in touch. Years later, she became a state president for AHRI and invited him to speak at conference. That led AJ into the HR world, where his message on influence and leadership resonated strongly.
Why HR professionals are under extraordinary pressure
AJ’s view of HR is refreshingly direct. He sees HR leaders as the custodians of work. Not administrators. Not handbrakes. Not merely compliance officers.
That matters because many HR professionals still struggle with outdated perceptions of their function. If senior leaders see HR only as policy, process, and paperwork, they miss the strategic reality entirely.
At the same time, HR is being asked to navigate one of the most complex operating environments in decades. AJ points to the convergence of multiple forces:
- Rapid advances in AI and digital technology
- Shifts in human behaviour and expectations at work
- Multi-generational workforces
- Transformation programs and cost pressure
- Growing social and cultural expectations placed on employers
For practical guidance on workplace regulation and proactive support, some organisations pair leadership capability work with legal frameworks such as an employment law retainer package.
That is why HR frustration is so real right now. Many teams are trying to gain a genuine seat at the table while simultaneously carrying the burden of change. It is not surprising that so many feel as though they are hitting a metaphorical brick wall.
The TLC framework: Think, Look, Communicate
AJ’s core framework for influence is called TLC:
- Think
- Look
- Communicate
What makes this useful is that it is not a rigid five-step formula. AJ is skeptical of one-size-fits-all success advice. Too often, people copy another person’s steps without understanding the underlying conditions that made those steps work in the first place.
Instead, TLC is principles-based.
The most powerful part is the first one: think.
AJ argues that impact and influence are primarily a thinking challenge, not just a communication challenge. If a leader thinks differently about the problem, new pathways open up. If they only focus on polishing the message, they often miss the real issue entirely.
The point of impact: why people decide based on identity
One of AJ’s most compelling ideas is the point of impact. This is the moment when a person makes a decision.
At that moment, he says, one thing matters most: people make decisions that are congruent with their identity.
In other words, a decision-maker does not simply respond to data. They respond from who they are.
That identity is shaped by two forces:
- Lived experience
- The stories they have been told
If HR presents numbers, legal risk, benchmarking and business cases, and still gets nowhere, this may be why. The recommendation may make perfect sense on paper, but if it does not fit the identity of the person making the decision, it will struggle to land.
This is where strategic storytelling becomes essential. Not spin. Not manipulation. Storytelling that helps shape how an issue is understood before the decision point arrives.
For a broader Australian context on AI and workplace capability, the Australian Government’s Digital Transformation Agency and the Jobs and Skills Australia provide useful resources on digital change and workforce trends.
Why trust must be built before it is needed
Perhaps the biggest lesson from the discussion is this: do not try to build influence at the exact moment you need it.
By then, it is often too late.
If a board has directed leadership to cut costs by 30 per cent and the default proposal becomes headcount reduction, HR cannot rely on a last-minute slide deck to change the outcome. Influence at that point depends on whether trust has already been built.
AJ describes this as having trust in the bank.
If trust is already there, HR can call on finance to model alternatives, work with marketing on reputational implications, and speak into the decision with credibility. If trust is not there, there is nothing to withdraw.
This idea connects closely to the changing nature of trust itself. Institutional trust has weakened. People are less likely to trust messages simply because they come from government, media, or large business. Peer-to-peer credibility has grown in its place.
Inside organisations, the same principle applies. People are more likely to back leaders who consistently show up, keep promises, and create confidence over time.
That is why one of AJ’s simplest trust-building rules is also one of the strongest: say what you will do, then do it.
How to move people from where they are
AJ comes back repeatedly to one leadership principle:
Move people from where they are, not where you are.
That applies whether the gap is between HR and the executive, an introvert and a dominant boss, or a detail-oriented stakeholder and a big-picture leader.
His practical approach is to understand identity quickly. That means paying attention to:
- Language choices
- Energy and tone
- What is in someone’s office
- How they carry themselves physically
- What stories or interests they naturally return to
Once that identity is clearer, ideas can be positioned inside a world that makes sense to that person.
This is a powerful reminder for HR business partnering and stakeholder engagement. Influence is rarely about saying the same thing louder. It is usually about translating the issue into terms the other person can see themselves inside.
Readers interested in related conversations around mindset, AI and the future of HR may also find value in this HR Engage episode with Josh Campbell.
Hug the cactus early
Another memorable phrase from AJ is that leaders need to hug the cactus.
That means addressing the uncomfortable issue early, before it grows into something harder, costlier, and more damaging.
Many leaders confuse hard work with longer hours. AJ’s point is different. The hard work of modern leadership is often relational and psychological. It means:
- Having uncomfortable conversations
- Testing assumptions
- Building trust before crisis hits
- Clarifying unspoken objections
- Helping others see how they fit into change
This is especially relevant when someone agrees to a project, training initiative or people program, but never actually follows through. The issue may not be laziness or bad faith. They may not yet understand how the proposal fits into their world, priorities, or identity. Good leaders ask better questions and surface those hidden barriers.
One horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
In one of the lighter moments of the conversation, AJ was asked whether he would rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses.
His answer was 100 duck-sized horses.
The reason is revealing. Rather than betting everything on defeating one giant obstacle, AJ prefers building the capability to handle challenge after challenge after challenge. That, for him, is real leadership development.
It is also a useful antidote to the myth of the silver bullet.
When successful people are asked what changed everything, they often nominate one big turning point. AJ’s view is that these answers may be true for them, but they can mislead others. Success is rarely one giant breakthrough in isolation. More often, it is built through many smaller decisions, disciplined habits, and repeated problem-solving.
The bigger message for HR leaders
There is a reason AJ’s message lands with HR professionals. Many are already fighting for something: to be seen, heard and valued. To shift perception. To improve work. To help organisations make better decisions for people and performance alike.
That fight matters.
And the answer, according to AJ, is not louder communication or shinier presentations. It is stronger thinking, better understanding of people, deeper trust, and the courage to do the hard work early.
The final takeaway is simple and worth keeping close. A quote from Zig Ziglar, shared near the end of the conversation, captures the spirit of the whole discussion:
You can have everything you want in life if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
For HR leaders trying to build impact and influence, that may be the clearest leadership principle of all.
If one cactus is being avoided at work right now, this might be the moment to pick it up carefully and start the conversation.
For more conversations with HR leaders and workplace experts, the HR Engage podcast archive includes further insights on capability, people strategy and leadership development.
